communication
October 2008 
What constitutes true communication?
Posted on Jul 20th, 2008
by 
Zephyr
Zephyr
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for July 20, 2008:
Trust is necessary, to enable people to be open in communication. Simple is good, the aim is to be understood, not ostentation.I like to think before setting my mouth in motion. It can be a written communication, but usually it's verbal bat and ball, a communication is at least a two way conversation, sometimes more, it should allow access to all persons involved and affected in a discussion. It can take practise and commitment to communicate well, some naturally communicate well. We use verbal communication, but body language is another fom of communication that it is very useful to be aware of, it can contradict what people are saying, or give clues to how they are feeling.
Listening actively, observing absorbing, thinking carefully before replying, sometimes
reflecting to ensure we have understood correctly. As we all have our own reality it is useful to try walking in anothers shoes sometimes,. It can also be useful to look at what is not being said, maybe being avoided?
Our sayings / quotes are good clues -
She lectured me, one sided conversation, one view.
Author: Jeff Daly
Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
Carl W. Buechner
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Having a heart to heart , open communication where there is trust
Chinese proverb Words are just words and without heart they have no meaning.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh:
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
Edwin H. Friedman:
The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.
Marcel Proust:
We are healed of a suffering only by expressing it to the full.
Rollo May
Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.
Listening actively, observing absorbing, thinking carefully before replying, sometimes
reflecting to ensure we have understood correctly. As we all have our own reality it is useful to try walking in anothers shoes sometimes,. It can also be useful to look at what is not being said, maybe being avoided?
Our sayings / quotes are good clues -
She lectured me, one sided conversation, one view.
Author: Jeff Daly
Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
Carl W. Buechner
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
Having a heart to heart , open communication where there is trust
Chinese proverb Words are just words and without heart they have no meaning.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh:
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
Edwin H. Friedman:
The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.
Marcel Proust:
We are healed of a suffering only by expressing it to the full.
Rollo May
Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.
Access: Public
communication is always in question because no matter how much we intend on listening we will always hear a little peice of ourselves in them – this is where kindness enters -
In the end we only have our feelings – it is what guides us — how do we feel after talking with that person is our guide. Did they cause us to feel good or did we make them feel good – did we spark something in them that might make me significant to them or maybe they heard just anough of themselves in me to like me? Then you have to ask yourself if they don't like themselves how could they ever like me because i know that they see themselves in me. Do we ask everyone to love themselves? how do you get that across to people?
Nicely communicated there, Gael…..expression matching content like the best dovetail joint. j x
Thank you Gael
and when we are present with someone and giving them space to be just who they are we open our heart to them,
I know when I am realy with someone who is being, I now observe, listen and become aware of my own inner self….
I guess we know and feel when someone is '' being with us''
Lovet to you my friend…
“Words are just words and without heart they have no meaning”
You communicate wonderfully, dear Zephyr. Thank you,
CG
written with inspiration
thank you!
Nightphoenix, John, Ange, CG,, and Hummingbird, it's always such a pleasure to communicate with you all, thank you for being you.