What do you need to change the most in your life?

I know what I need to change, i should make more time to care for myself, but there are difficulties. I am trying hard to get some respite care.i have cared for Mum full time for three years and helped her at home for five years before that., during that time social services gave me one respite week off when I moved house which involved moving both my mothers household and mine into one home. and one week off about about a year ago. She did start having day care one day a week and they closed that down and offered me a voluntary carer for one morning a week, just four hours instead, that failed when the carer went off sick so it's been a month without any respite I phoned them and she is not likely to be back for another three weeks. I know I should care for myself more but without respite care it's impossible and as i am fit and I promised I would look after my mother I am not prepared to let her down, the respite care when we moved house was diabolical it was an approved home. She was fine when she went in, they let her lay in bed all week she gained a bedsore on her elbow which they failed to attend to and it was inflamed, the bed was soiled with urine faeces and serous fluid from the bedsore, the incontinence pads I had supplied were still in the wrappers unused.They had dressed her and I couldn't get her out of there quick enough - on the way home she urinated and I found they had put no pad or knickers on her, in her handbag I found sweet buiscuits and Mum is diabetic. It couldn't have been worse. I have nursed her for three years and she is much better now than when I took her in, not one bed sore. diabetes well controlled, good appetite and depression lifted..The area we live in has the highest proportion of elderly in europe and services are breaking down under the strain. I can't even get to the dentist let alone yoga classes ! I am tired, but hopefully I'll get a break soon. Both my brothers live abroad one hasn't phoned since last christmas the other last phoned Mum on her birthday in March - why do men not see themselves as carers and get involved ? love from Zephyr.